Alright… My friend Toblerone invited me to respond to this meme. I didn’t know what a meme is, but apparently in blog-world, “it’s some kind of list of questions that you saw somewhere else and you decided to answer the questions. Then someone else sees them and does them and so on and so on.” In the original sense of the word, a meme would be a self-propagating unit of thought that is spread from one host to another - a kind of an idea-gene. So, without further adieu, here we go:

1. What’s one thing about parenting you’re really excited about?

It’s hard to pick one thing, especially since I really have no idea what I’m getting into, but I think I’m just looking forward to the new depth and richness that a baby will bring into our life. I can’t wait to love this little person that I’ve helped to create, and watch her grow, and teach her about Jesus, and see the ways that she teaches me more about how to love and how our Father loves us. Plus, I think she’s probably going to be the cutest kid anyone has ever seen.

2. What’s one thing about parenting you’re not so excited about?

I am afraid that I will never sleep again.

I’ve always thought , when I observed other couples and friends both with and without kids, that it’s having kids that ages you. Right now I don’t really look my age, but I know that it’s just a matter of time, as the lack of sleep takes its toll, until the dark circles and crow’s feet really kick in, and soon I’m sure I will look much older than my age. Sigh… A vain answer, I know. But hey, I’m honest!

3. What is your favorite drink? Why?

I think I’d have to say a nice, strong margarita on the rocks, no salt. Could be frozen - if it’s from Guero’s. Otherwise, on the rocks.

Why? I don’t know - I just love the flavors, especially with some good Mexican. It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of those…and it’ll be awhile still.

4. Describe a dream date you’d like to have with your hubby. Money is no
objection.

Wow, that’s a hard one. Honey, are you reading this? OK, well, it would probably involve flowers, a beautiful dress, a private jet to a gorgeous ocean somewhere, fresh seafood and wine on a private beach, maybe some dancing, definitely some night swimming (sans swimsuits?), and then a jet back to sleep in our own bed. That’s one scenario - there are many possibilities, actually, but in my present state of with-childness, that scenario sounds the most relaxing and romantic. Oh, and I would NOT be pregnant on this dream date.

5. You have $100, and you are required to spend it within 24 hours.
What do you do with it?

Ugh. In all truthfulness, I should “spend” it right into our savings account. But if that doesn’t count, I’d probably spend it on more baby things - cloth diaper supplies, a sling, etc. How boring. But at this point, it’s reality.

OK, here’s the deal: there are rules to this meme, and they are as follows:

1. If you want to play along , leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Who’s in?

One of my earliest memories of my husband, when we first met, was the way that he talked about finding God in fruit. I thought that was kind of weird at first, but when I started to look for myself, I saw what he saw. Fruit is a truly amazing thing that God gave us.

Think about it: take a little tiny seed, add some water and some sunshine, and somehow an entire plant grows up from that little seed. And then, that plant produces these objects that we can eat! Their different flavors vary far more than we could ever try to vary flavors of candy or ice cream. They are amazingly delicious. They also provide us with lots of things we actually need, like vitamins, minerals, etc. Isn’t that amazing? God thought of fruit and provided it for us as tasty & nutritious food.

And on top of all that, most fruit is also beautiful and even symmetrical. For instance, if you peel an over-ripe banana, slice it in half, and roll it back and forth a little bit between your fingers, it will actually fall into perfect thirds! Did you know that? I never knew until my hubby showed me. And the way that oranges and other citrus fruits grow in little segments - they’re like perfect bite-size packages. God didn’t have to do it that way, but He did. I think He must have had tons of fun when he was creating all the different kinds of fruit.

Sometimes when my husband eats fruit, it leads him to verbally praise God, and our snack practically turns into a worship time - IF we take the time to look at what we’re eating and thank Him for it. I think that’s the way it should be. My most recent discovery is the Taylor’s Gold pear. This pear - no offense to the trusty Bartlett - but this pear rocks! The flesh melts like candy on your tongue, and the skin is tender and sweet. Trust me, go to your nearest grocery store and buy a few - you will love them. And praise God as you eat! He loves to provide for His children, and He does so in beautiful, delicious, creative ways. He doesn’t have to do it that way - we could all be eating astronaut food or something. But instead, we can see a little bit of His ways everytime we peel an orange, or slice into a watermelon. Thank you, Lord, for revealing more of who You are through Your creation!

It’s Saturday, and I am pretty tired. It’s been a long week - I’ve been training my replacement at work, and it’s going really well, but it’s exhausting having to think so intentionally and explicitly about things that I do all the time without a second thought. Hence, the reason I haven’t written in awhile, and my brain is still feeling worn out today.

We finally started cleaning out the room which will be the baby’s room. It has been the junk storage room since August, so there is a LOT to clean out. Hubby, of course, is actually doing most of the work - thank you, honey! But it has made everything a little more real, seeing this room transform into a baby’s room. There’s still a part of me that’s thinking, “What do we need a baby’s room for? Who’s having a baby?” Oh yeah, that would be me. And I keep forgetting that as of this coming Thursday, I will no longer be working at my current job. Just this morning, I was thinking about the next few weekends and how we have something planned for each of them, and feeling regretful that there would be no down time. Then I remembered, “Wait - who needs weekends?!? Everyday will be a weekend soon!” YEAH! That’s a nice thought!

So, in closing, I offer you all a little silliness, albeit silliness with a message. In the sidebar over to the right, under “Friends & Other Stuff,” I added a link called Store Wars. It’s pretty funny - check it out.

This past Sunday, I hadn’t felt the baby move much all day. By the time evening rolled around, I was pretty worried - she had just been entirely too still for too long, in my opinion. My sweet hubby tried to reassure me, but I would not be placated. Finally he offered to listen for her heartbeat. We had heard that when you’re this far along, you might be able to hear the heartbeat without any special instruments. So I lied down on the bed, and he pressed his ear up against my belly, right over my belly button. I tried to be as still and quiet as possible so that nothing would distract or interfere. We stayed like that for a minute or two, and then suddenly, without warning, I felt a force as though I had been punched in the stomach - from the inside! I gasped, and then laughed aloud, as Hubby quickly jerked his head off my belly and hollered, “She just kicked me in the face!”

Apparently things are already squished enough in there, without someone’s ear pressing in against her. She wasn’t too happy, but I was!

If you were unfortunate enough to have read my last post in the three hours since I published it, I’m sorry. I was very grumbly. It’s now 8:45 am, and I feel better. After my snack, I went back to bed and fell asleep almost immediately, and I began having the most wonderful dream that I was riding a waterslide. It was really long; the whole ride from start to finish took about five or six minutes. It was a fast slide, and it had some pretty intense moments, too, including entire sections where you had to hold your breath because you were completely submerged. But during those sections, you were still rushed along pretty swiftly by jets and currents underneath you. And at the bottom, you could take an elevator back up to the top and ride the slide again, without having to wait in a line! It was heavenly.

I love waterslides - I always have. The freedom that you feel as you’re sliding, with the water surrounding you, the wind in your face, and the sun beating down on you, is one of my all-time favorite adventures. I obviously haven’t ridden one in quite awhile, and it will probably be awhile before I can ride one again. But God gave me a dream of waterslides, and my dreams are so vivid that I often feel as though I’ve actually experienced whatever it is I’m dreaming of. It was a lovely way to fall back to sleep, and a lovely way to wake up - I could still feel the water rushing below me and around me.

I definitely see a trip to Schlitterbahn in my future sometime this summer….

….but more often than not, you can find me lying awake these days, anywhere from about 4 am to 6 am. It’s as though I’m exhausted enough to fall sleep at 10 or 11 pm, despite all my pregnancy discomfort, but by 4 am I’ve gotten enough sleep that the discomfort begins to override the exhaustion. At least, this is what I think my body must be doing. It’s infuriating. Mostly, I just repeat, “God, please let me fall back to sleep,” over and over again. But then hunger usually kicks in - I’m hungrier than ever! - and I know there is no way I’ll go back to sleep with the rumbling in my tummy. So, it’s snacktime. At 5 am. It’s ridiculous. And, I have to say that I am a little tired of people telling me that all this is just preparation for when the baby comes. It’s not exactly very encouraging. Grrrr.

OK - I’m done with my snack. I’m going to try to sleep some more now, since I have to wake up in an hour.

hey, everyone!

This post is a shameless plug for the film CHALK. The film was made by some friends at my church, and it’s opening in theatres all across the nation over the next month or so. It has won lots of film festival awards, and it caught the attention of Morgan Spurlock, the man who made “Supersize Me.” He had just started his own film company called Morgan Spurlock Presents, and decided to release CHALK into theatres.

The film is a mockumentary-style comedy about teachers, especially first-year teachers. It is laugh-out-loud funny, yet poignant as well. It was filmed almost entirely in my wonderful city, and the director, writers, producers, and many actors are all from my church. It’s pretty amazing. So, at the link, you can find release dates for many major cities across the U.S. If you live in one of these cities, GO SEE THE MOVIE! You’ll love it! And once they see how well the film does in those cities, then they will decide whether or not it will open nationwide. This is a chance to support Christians who are making quality art on a very public level. We’re all excited for them, and we’re doing our best to get the word out. So, there you have it - that’s the end of my plug. Enjoy.
P.S. If you want to read a review other than mine, here’s a good one.

Yesterday was the first official step in my transition to staying at home: they hired my replacement at work.  I’ll start training her on Monday the 21st.  I think my boss made a good choice and she’ll do a great job, but it feels pretty surreal to me.  I’ve worked here for almost three years - which is the longest that I’ve been at any one job! - and leaving here is bringing up so many strange emotions that I wasn’t expecting to feel.   (And don’t tell me it’s just the pregnancy hormones talking.  :)) 

The thing is that when I took this job, I knew it wasn’t what I wanted in a “career,” but it was, in my mind, a transitional job, and I knew I would enjoy it.  I started this job as a single; I got married about nine months in, and I never wanted to deal with too much change at any given time, and so the job continued.  But as time went on, it got more and more difficult to think about leaving, due to an overly loyal streak, and the timing never seemed right.  However, I was also getting more and more unhappy, as I realized that I would never have an opportunity to use the gifts and talents that I enjoy using the most.  There was no chance for any kind of advancement, and the truth is that because it’s a male-dominated culture in my office, it would never even occur to anyone that I might have more to offer than anyone was willing to give me credit for.  Does that sound horrible?

I’m not a feminist by any means - I love the role that I have assumed in my marriage and home, and I have a feeling that becoming a stay-at-home-mom will be my favorite job yet.  But there’s still something pretty disappointing in walking away from an office after three years and feeling like you were never truly able to be who you were meant to be. 

Maybe it’s pride?….  I’m not sure. 

And yet, this has been the place I spent most of my waking hours for quite some time now.  It’s familiar and comfortable.  And I will miss the people.  Only nine more days.  So weird!

So yesterday I wrote my first post, and it’s quite serious. Sometimes I tend too much to the serious side - two years living in Poland after college did that to me. But I hope this blog will be more than merely my online journal and a place for me to get the writing bug out of my system. For those who may not know, I am a mom-to-be…. 34 weeks and counting! So this is the place for not only the latest theological rantings in my brain, but also pictures, stories, etc, about our new little life that we’ll soon be welcoming, and the transitions that follow.

It should be a pretty wild ride, and I’m excited about it. I hope many of you will join me.

Yesterday we spent the morning worshipping with our church, Hope Chapel.  The progression of songs perfectly captured the “already/not yet” to which this url refers, and I realized how often we allow this reality to pass us by without even recognizing it.  

We started out by singing, “…the King has come! The King of love has come!”  It’s a joy-filled song by one of my favorite writers of new hymns, Stuart Townend.   We sang loudly and proclaimed that He has, indeed, come to us - the King of kings has sent His Spirit to dwell with us so that we may be His people.  It was a lovely, raucous time. 

We moved on to other songs:

“Holy is the Lord God Almighty, the earth is filled with His glory…”

“Gracious Lord…You have poured kindness over me…”

And then eventually, a song from Psalm 130: “My soul waits for you, Oh God, as the watchman waits for the morning, as the watchman waits for the dawn, we wait for you.”

And we began to proclaim out loud again, this time in hope and faith, that He is coming. 

The King has come.  The King is coming.  Both are true, simultaneously, and both are our hope - without one, the other just wouldn’t make sense. This is the tension that we live in everyday as followers of Jesus.  “Life in between” is our reality.  Sometimes I focus too much on the “not yet,” on what is to come.  I’d like to live more in the “already.”  

It’s also possible to go too far in the other direction - yes, the King has come, and there is hope and victory because of Him, but there is much that is still wrong and evil in this world.  There is a “not yet” that we are waiting for, that we believe is coming still.  And then and only then will things be completely right and whole.

Life in between is where we are for now, for today.  This tension can overwhelm me at times; I cry out with joy for the beauty of life and the world around me, and weep for the pain and suffering that the very same world inflicts.  May we live fully in the midst of this tension, embracing both the sorrow and the glory that comes into our lives, and learning what it means to follow Him through it all, in victory and faith and hope.