Today my husband had coffee with a friend of ours who lives in East Asia. He’s in town for a few months this summer and they’ve been trying to get together for a little while now. This friend is one of those very intense personality types who is always reading, always learning, always pushing people out of their comfort zone (himself included), and always full of ideas and thinking of better ways to do things. He has strong opinions, but they’re usually good opinions. It’s always stimulating to spend time with him, and for my hubby, today was no exception.

My husband came home and filled me in on some of their conversation. They had talked of many things related to the gospel and being who we’re called to be, and one of the key points was intentionality. Small, intentional communities that encourage and hold accountable; intentional relationships with the people God has brought into our lives; intentional time in God’s word - all of these things might sound familiar and old to some. But as I listened, I realized how small my world has become lately. Preparing to become a mom has, in some ways, consumed my life. My days are filled with laundering little pink things, reading up on parenting philosophies, organizing our home in preparation for a new addition, etc. It is both to my credit and one of my flaws that I generally approach new ventures with a determination to learn everything there is to know, and to attain perfection in that venture - or as close to it as you can get. My approach to parenting hasn’t really been any different.

But tunnel vision isn’t exactly what I’m after, either. It’s been awhile since I thought about intentionally building relationships outside of my Christian circle. It’s been awhile since I felt the fire that I used to thrive on, thinking missionally about everyone I meet and everything I do. I don’t like that. I have seen how people become too comfortable with their lives: get married, buy a home, have a baby, buy a bigger car, find a better job, have another baby, etc. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with this picture - IF you’re able to do it all with a Kingdom perspective - IF you can remain unattached to it all - if you can step outside of it at any given moment and know that there is something much more glorious worth living and dying for, and know that you’d chuck it all if you were asked. But that’s just it - most people can’t do that. Most people get sucked into the “American Dream,” and never realize that they’ve set aside God’s dreams for them.

Lord, spare me from such foolishness. Help me to balance becoming a mom with continuing to become the person You created me to be, and rekindle the fire inside of me for Your gospel and Your glory to be made known to all the peoples of the earth - on the other side of the world, as well as right here in my neighborhood.