I haven’t written in awhile because it seems like there is nothing new to say. I am still waiting, still waiting, still waiting…. But yesterday it all got to be a bit too much. I think I broke down crying about four separate times yesterday. Those of you who are female probably understand - isn’t it MADNESS the way that our hormones control our life sometimes? If you’re male and you don’t get it, sorry.

Anyway, yesterday I just felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. I was exhausted and my back was killing me and there really are no comfortable positions left, whether I’m sitting, standing, lying down - it doesn’t matter. And why am I so exhausted some days and have much more energy on other days? It makes no sense, and throws a wrench in many a plan. For example, we have a garden in our backyard that is producing in abundance - it’s really been amazing to watch it grow, actually. We planted in early March and now we have tomatoes, green bell peppers, chilies, kale, cucumbers, and tons of different herbs - it’s fascinating, and so rewarding to eat something you cultivated yourself. We’re still waiting on yellow bell peppers, eggplant, and butternut squash.

So, I had big plans yesterday to make homemade spaghetti sauce out of our garden fresh tomatoes - I’d been planning it for a few days and was totally psyched. But by the time the afternoon rolled around, it was all I could do to lie on the couch and read a book. I was so frustrated. My hubby ended up cooking dinner for us - which, I think he will freely admit, is not exactly his area of expertise. It’s happened maybe 2 or 3 other times in our marriage. Not that I mind - I like to cook, I’m good at it, and he helps clean up. It works for us. But what I mean is, you know that if he’s cooking, I’m REALLY out of it.

And so, I ended up a blubbering, sobbing mess - not once, but perhaps three or four times yesterday. Sheerly out of exhaustion and frustration. And it’s really not encouraging when people tell me that NOW is the time to rest, since “you will only be more exhausted once the baby’s here.” I mean, even if it’s true, just spare me the facts right now, people, please! I need to hear about the good stuff - not further reasons I’m going to want to tear my hair out and check into the loony bin. Just a few encouraging words, is that too much to ask?!?!

Well, anyway, today I feel a bit more stable. We’ll see if it lasts….