A wedding is a very grounding, centering thing for me to witness. Being at a wedding always reminds me of what’s really important: my husband, and the covenant we entered into on March 11, 2005; my daughter, and the joy (and responsibility!) that she brings; my relationship with a covenantal God, and the ways that He has blessed me beyond all reason, beyond anything I could ever have planned for myself, far beyond what I deserve.

Tonight I went to a friend’s wedding. She is older - 36, I think - and one of those people of whom other people always say, “She’s such an amazing woman! Why isn’t she married yet?” (I won’t go into the reasons why this is a terrible way to think. But it is. It’s also beside the point.) The wedding was so beautiful and joyous, one of the most joyous I have ever been to. You could tell that everyone was just bursting with happiness for her, and she was absolutely radiant.

During the officiant’s message, he told her, almost as an aside, “Put away your preoccupations with what you thought your life would be like.” Isn’t that interesting? I found it extremely insightful. Marrying at age 36 is probably not what she had in mind for her life ten or fifteen years ago. Ten or fifteen years ago, she probably thought she would have been married for awhile by now, likely with a few kids in tow. Why did Dr. Taylor choose to say those words? Was it something specific for her that he knew she needed to hear? Or was it something more general to us as women, or even to all of our human natures?

I don’t know. But those words stood out from among all the others as though they were directed personally to me via a megaphone from heaven. I have been fighting to put away some preoccupations of my own for a little while now. It’s selfish and ungrateful to hang on to those preoccupations, I know that. Yet sometimes it is so hard to move forward. I don’t know what or where forward is. I don’t know what lies ahead - and of course, in reality, I never did.

I want to be content with my circumstances, ALL of the time. I want to be grateful, and cognizant of how BLESSED I am, ALL of the time.

And I want to dream new dreams.