Fox and I have been re-evaluating our life lately.  To say that this past year has been hard is putting it rather mildly.  Survival mode has become the norm; even when things are going better, they’re hard.

One of the ways that we have dealt with this - one of the UN-healthy ways - is by turning to the internet for some vegging-out entertainment.  The end of the day comes, Ladybug’s finally in bed asleep, and all we want to do is collapse on the couch with something mindless.  We don’t have a TV, so what do we do?  We surf the net.  On two separate laptops.

We’ve realized how many things this is keeping us from doing.  For me, reading books, sewing, creating things, pursuing music, working on the garden, organizing, writing, and keeping up with friendships are all things that I set aside regularly in favor of the mind-numbing amusement I find online.  Fox has his own list.  But the one most important thing on both of our lists is our marriage - our relationship with each other.  Not that we’ve neglected it, exactly - it’s just not as good as it could be, as we want it to be.  And it’s harder now than before Ladybug came along - a lot harder.  Extra effort is needed, not extra zoning-out.

We’ve decided to take some drastic measures.  We’re going to get rid of one of our laptops.  That way, if Fox is using it for school in the evening, I will be doing something else, hopefully from that list above.  If he needs to take it to school, I will check and reply to email in the evenings when he gets home.  If not, I’ll have it all day, and he’ll check when he gets home.  Then we’ll pursue other things, together or separately, but other, worthwhile things.

I have also decided to stop blogging.  This has been a hard decision but I think it is the right one.  I wanted to blog for a number of reasons, but they aren’t working out like I hoped they would.  For one, I wanted a creative outlet.  I had fun designing my blog, but the writing itself just doesn’t work for me online.  I think I need to write by hand, in a journal, for my creativity to flow.  My mind goes blank when I sit down at a computer to write.  I end up writing silly stuff.

For two, I wanted to stay in touch with friends around the world.  What I found was that when I connected with friends this way, the communication often became too much for me to keep up with.  I am not even good at finding time and energy to maintain friendships with people right here in town, much less deepen those friendships!  And while I am already blessed with many deep friendships with people who live in other places, I need to communicate with them at a little bit slower pace.  I am an introvert - an overwhelmed, tired, busy introvert - and I just can’t handle all the relationships, all at once, that blogging brings.

And then there was the temptation to be a “power blogger.”  I am a driven person (at least, I used to be… I THINK I still am?…when I’m not so tired…)  and I like to stand out, to be the best, to receive praise.  A friend once told me that I want to be unique and special, but that I’m not - I’m just a normal person like everybody else.  She wasn’t trying to be cruel; she was being honest.  God has been dealing with me about that for awhile now, but blogging made it harder.  I wanted tons of readers, but I don’t have the time or energy that I need to put in to make that happen.  And that has nothing to do with why I started to blog in the first place!  Argh!  (Insert pirate accent there.  It’s fun.)  So, yes - temptation.

Anyway - there you have it.  I will leave this blog up indefinitely, and maybe I’ll update it now and then with family news and tidbits that friends might like to hear about.  I don’t know - we’ll see.  I’m looking forward to doing other things, though.  Thanks for being a reader, whoever you may be.   I appreciate it!

Today you are one year old!  I can’t believe that the first year of your life is already over.  You have changed and grown so much - from a helpless little babe of 7 lbs, 11 ounces, to an independent little toddler of 19 pounds, 2 ounces!  How did it happen?

You came into the world 9 days past your due date, and took your time about it.  I thought you would be born on 7-7-07, since I went into labor at 5 am on that day!  But twenty-four hours later, you finally showed up.  I was immediately struck by how beautiful you were.  Big blue eyes, a perfect little nose, rosebud lips, and two deep dimples that showed up whenever you cried.  You were never purple and squishy like some new babies; you skipped that stage and went straight for gorgeous.  You’re still beautiful; I can rarely go out without at least one person stopping to comment on my beautiful baby.

The first six months with you were the hardest time of my life.  They were pretty hard for you, too.  Reflux got a hold of you at just two weeks, and my sweet, smiley baby disappeared.  You cried all the time; you were in so much pain.  It made me incredibly sad and I felt so helpless.  We gave you medicine every twelve hours, and every time you hated it.  It had a strong peppermint flavor; I wonder how you will feel about peppermint when you’re older!  The medicine helped, but it didn’t help enough.  You nursed constantly, since it hurt you to eat.  We were attached at the hip.  Sometimes I wondered if we’d make it!

But then, miraculously, your reflux disappeared as suddenly as it had arrived!  Right before Christmas, you again transformed into a different baby - but this time, you were so happy!  I couldn’t believe it.  I finally had the happiest baby on the block!  We stopped your medication and the reflux didn’t come back.   You started sleeping a little better, and your awake time became so much fun.

Since then, you have just continued to grow and change so quickly, my girl.  You were crawling and then pulling up and cruising, and now you’re walking all over the world.  You love to laugh with us.  You love to get us to chase you and tickle you, and we love to do it.  You have the sweetest, most sensitive little heart; you cry when others are crying and you laugh when they’re laughing.  I love that about you.  You’re the most observant, curious little babe I’ve ever seen in my life; you certainly don’t miss a thing!  You’re also starting to talk a little bit; you love to say “uh-oh” and “cheese” and “da-da” and “mama.” You don’t want me to feed you anymore from a spoon; you want to feed yourself with finger foods.  And you’re just starting to understand that clothes go on our bodies; it’s hilarious to watch you pick up random pieces of clothes from my laundry pile and try to put them on your head!

Right when you were born, a wise mama at church told me that the days are long but the years are short.  She was so right.  Sometimes, during those long days, I wonder if I’m being the best mommy to you that I can be.  But this past year has gone by so quickly, and watching you grow and change and develop has been the most exciting, rewarding thing I’ve ever done - even when I’m exhausted because we’ve been up half the night teething!

I love you so much, my little Ladybug.  You are more precious to me than I could ever express.  I can’t wait to see what the coming year holds for you.  Thanks for being my girl.

Love, your mama

Chicken stock, that is!  One of the things i like to make at home (as opposed to buying it in a store, already made) is chicken stock.  Why would anyone make their own stock when it’s so easy to buy?  Well, there are a lot of benefits, and it’s really very easy! Homemade stock contains tons of nutrients that you just don’t get in a box or a can (and many brands contain hidden MSG).  The key is using bones.  Yep, bones!  Bones are full of minerals that will leach into the liquid as it simmers, and the result will be a rich, healing bone broth.  There’s a reason our grandmas always said chicken soup will cure anything!

This recipe will make about 3-4 quarts, depending how long you let it simmer.  You can use one quart that day, and freeze the rest for later.  I freeze mine in 1-quart mason jars.  The recipe uses a whole chicken, so you also end up with delicious meat that you can use for enchiladas (a personal fave), tortilla soup, chicken salad - whatever.  Make sure you use the best quality chicken you can get - local pastured chicken is best.  I use the recipe found in Nourishing Traditions.

Ingredients:

• 1 chicken (or 2-3 pounds of bony parts)
• 4 quarts water
• 2 TB apple cider vinegar
• 1 large onion, coarsely chopped
• 2 carrots, coarsely chopped
• 3 celery sticks, coarsely chopped
• 1 bunch parsley

Basically, you throw it all into a big pot, except for the parsley.  Let it sit there for about 30 minutes and then bring it to a boil.  If anything rises to the top, skim it off.  Then reduce heat, cover, and simmer anywhere from 6 to 24 hours.  The longer you simmer it, the more flavorful and nutrient-rich it will be.  About 10 minutes before you’re finished simmering, add the parsley.

When finished, let it cool slightly and you can take out the meat and use it, freeze it, or whatever.  Strain the broth through a mesh strainer into containers that will seal and remain airtight.  If you plan on freezing it, remember to leave about an inch of room at the top.  You can stick it into the fridge once it’s at room temp, and let the fat congeal and rise to the top in order to skim it off, but you don’t have to.  Voila!  Home-made chicken stock, complete with healing properties and free of added scariness.  Economical, too.  I try to make sure I always have at least one quart in my freezer at all times.  I gave it to my baby straight up when she had a cold and she got better pretty quickly.  I love to make soup with it, though.  It’s also great for cooking rice and cous-cous instead of water.  Eventually, my goal is to make this every week, since I am doing more and more of my cooking from scratch.

Smacznego!  (That’s like the Polish version of “Bon appetit!”)